Tough realization

I was taking a look at another blog today, and stumbled on a post called "3 Reasons Daughters Need Their Fathers."  It talked about them needing protection, to know they are loved, and for fathers to be involved.  Quite a few statistics were listed about what happens when these things are lacking, such as low self-esteem, risky behaviors, more suicide attempts, and higher rates of teen pregnancies.  These are hard facts to swallow for a mom who is essentially raising the two youngest on her own. 

My son is 19-months old, and does not know his father.  He's seen him for only 7 days in his life, and thankfully has yet to realize what he's missing.  I know that will certainly come later with birthday parties, little league games, and boy scout meetings.  For now, it's my 3-year old daughter who is really hurting.  She and my son have not seen their father for nearly 15 months.  I tell them it's because he has such an important job to do protecting our country, but that's not entirely true.  He purposely skipped numerous chances to see them before he deployed last year, and is desperately trying to push our divorce through before he even sees their little faces again. 

My daughter asks about him constantly.  It doesn't help when she watches my older two spend time with their dad each week, and wonder why she never gets anything like that.  Fifteen months is like a lifetime for someone her age.  We've watched other fathers joyously return from war hugging their children so tightly, but know no such happy reunion awaits us.  Even when this deployment, and my husband's 20-year career is finished in a few months, no plans have really been made with regard to our children.  All I know is that we have contended with anxiety, nightmares, numerous tears, and bedwetting incidents due to this long separation.  Other people sense that need she has, and try to fill the void, but it's not the same.  I try my best, but can't be all she needs either.  Her favorite singer in the world is strangely enough, Johnny Cash.  She loves his music, and makes me turn on the cd each time we get in the car so she can sing along.  But, the one song she will never listen to is A Boy Named Sue.  I have to carefully skip it every time.  I think, "my daddy left home when I was 3," hits way too close to home for both of us. 

So today, I am saying a prayer for all of the little girls and boys growing up without their dads.  No matter the reason, it doesn't lessen the longing and pain.  Fill their hearts, Lord, with the love and encouragement only You can provide.  And, please be with all of the mothers working hard to do this on their own.  Give them the patience, strength, and wisdom to prevail.  Amen.